Sources inspiring and guiding this chapter on: sex; libido and magnetism
Dan Winter, all about the difference between heat and light x
x x (2) Gabriel Cousens: Muktananda
kundalini experiences x x x (2)
Reid; loads of tricks to cherish and cultivate charge
x x x (1) George Gilder, defender of
very conservative family values offensive to feminists in Sexual Suicide
and others (see p. 23 and poly-strata-fidelity)
x x x (1) J D Unwin+, utopian, sexual
mores and intercultural repercussions x x
x (1) Lyotard, see especially his Taoistic
'mining' of women in his "Libidinal Economy" and the curious book "Pacific
wall" x x x
Robert Lawlor, a most highly recommendable man, quit an artistic career
when poisoned in a photolab
(the pollutants from artistic industries
are a good match for those of war really,realizing this made me renounce
camerawork) x x x J
H Noyes+, founder of the Oneida community in NY, (pro)posed amative vs
procreative love.. x x x Peter
Duisberg, virologist of world class prominence untill he started debunking
the HIV - AIDS hype and toll tit lie kit is:
another socalled humanitarian public moneyextracting scam to distract from
lifestyles and (in(i-
in a little happy experimentation with ways to scare people out of intimacy
and a little slow poisoning on the side.
x x x Oscar Kiss Maerth: "The beginning
was the end", on cannibalism (fruit of knowledge)
as key to a monkey"s hairloss (nakedness,
need to rip off trees) and sexual obsessions,
I read this one at 16 and it set the tone of my thinking for a decadex
x x Robert Wrangham: 'Demonic males', a good
Maerth follow up which was published around 30 years later x
Camille Paglia x
x x Alphonso Lingis (see
a review of his book: "Foreign bodies" in my priority issue file)
x x x
WARMLY DISEXTED AND GRACIOUSLY (S)EXTENDED TEMPTATION TO STAND AT ATTENTION TEMPERATELY
sex solitarily stalked yet socially steadied and sense of identity expanding, that is: ample foodchainlinking and exemplary sex, gene rations, matching fuses, handling vitality and steeling mettle vs AIDS, fiery versus fruitful flair
I shift emphasis of and extend sexual innuendo to life just below our feet and that growing well above our heads bycause it is before and after all an intergene rationing thing. Don't break love's mounting inner tension till you pry and screw a longing term loan out of a shyer and hardier, yet more pregnant femininannyhood than flesh and blood will bear out in generations without it: rock. Come delve into layers of its hidden meaning to provide surges of growth and flushes of pleasure. Call all that soilbanked credit a prepayment toward great grandkids. According to my definition of the marriage boat, it is the skinwinning heartrendering, rockcrushing and grovetending focal point of balance and lineage that provides an ample haven for kids and voluntarily rule abiding visitors or eager apprentices, kinda like an arch, alive and well, left to live in the shapes and shades of trees dotting a microclime (see Noah, page 20). Choice mate meat attracting strut, spectacle and circus is the orgiastic bonding mechanisms that males crave yet pervert with exclusive hunting and warlike mechanisms, fighting competition rather than providing for it. Us in, them out is OK as long as them is rocks and we go in to help them come out and up organically. Youthful fervor: I know where the kids are at, I feel for single celled organisms, tit for tat and that is that, break deadly gridlocked rock but don't cut our gene rations, don't splice 'm, feed and love 'm but do not dice 'm. How long can one take to live up to the thoughtful feeling of making one self comfortable and welcome with these here now and then those there too, grown up kids, how well can you handyman plan and lay away credits for your own next childhood? Youth has a sense of being a small island without souvenirs, in dire need of permission to touch, owning a paradoxical feeling of having nothing to hide in a secret world blocked by mere appearances, a self looking to mimic, meet and mirror itself, an onion hiding sweet nothings behind layers and peals of mirth ready to burst, wanting to send out missives, soak up replies, perpetually charged to seek the matching fuse, fond of finding foreignness to make itself welcome and at home. When a kid roughhouses and ignores commands to desist, it is usually bycause the commanders ignore the more primary and vital need of kinetic skillsharpening exertion at play with joust and parry in favor of a skill they importunely and prematurely try to instill, what is the point of having kids if you don't let 'm help you remember the anarchy of animal origin? Many a kid grows up to become a macho nitwit but it's never too late to teach the next ones how to start pulling their weight, let's nevertheless also tell all soul diers that presently sow death to hold their horses and split rock into fine growsome grit and feed every tiny titbit to the bottom and beleavable borders of organc life, this quintessential frontline is where these bare bones stick up and extrude from earth's body in wait for us to truely defend and extend 'm. Too much and too little mother's milk make for sore throats and distorted identity/immunity, it causes congestion and crying in the early stages, later jerk offs and rockstars attest their attachments to such youthful yet old white out habits. Gene ratio's are a kind of soul pretraction archives, from sex rated programs and memory ministering mammary membranes to hazardous and traumatic turns and returns. Youthful vitality of preposterous testos-terr(a)neous speed, jitter, nerve, strenght, force and balls comes and goes with calling for a deeply rooting place in our tall yet mostly subconscious hierarchy; namely to explore tensility and tolerance; raise inertia anchors of biomass setting sail in or milling the wind around giant, highly tensilated greenhouse bubbles, eggs, icosas and other organic shapes. In the beginning the world is whole and one, trust is boundless and frustration is absolute, as we slowly start differentiating between breaths, draughts, piss, food, bowel and other movements, life can be a hassle sometimes, but a real breeze compared to puberty when the family fire kicks in, there is no limit to the lenghts, widths, depths and strenghts of the eye's fire one can earn or burn, depending on the di- and erections one chooses, we are not animals cause we are trained to postpone and reflect on the merits of every satisfaction imaginable, desired and necessary. Deep waters still great balls of fire: Practice sexual restraint to fuel the fire of vision through time and build up a sense of selfless identity expanding evaporatio so that the (p)repro train for sex at the bottom of our life support pyramid shall not lack or miss the top's ourobourosian cycle and carry capacity connection strain. F-words, the flatly fateful version: The first and foremost forms of fire fill the family files with fickle fun. Fearfully frigid females follow from and forever invite the fiercest of forceful fires. Earth, water, air, and fire turds, milk, breath, and spermenses. Flames reduce growth to ashes, sunshine reduces rock and water reduces oxides to growth, so help water travel through rocks or pour rocks in water to help life turn its oldest trick. Fullblown photosynthesis through rapturous cause voluntary ecofirepower is inversely proportionate to the rupture, patch, plaster and proliferation of bullet, money and sperm. The per- and transmutative fire that reigns the earths inner energy store is contained and restrained by massive consistency control resembling our collective mentality, reflecting a social inertia that budges only when running, pushing and crossing critically viscous voltage thresholds, often with a jolt. a question of humility (humble humus): If playing with fire (womanaging heat, air and light) is widely held to be a most excitingly dangerous (malerule) or workcrowning (femalerule) thing, then for the bottom end of that ladder, where first forms of life still catch fireball-beams in wetted fresh ashlike starsatelite crustdust like they did and do in the very and every beginning, in principle, we may safely come up with the most sustainably Godfearing repeat,-pent,-deemable and dancelike jubilateous physical currency that any fine mourning with ashes could ever hope to put in gear. As early as ever since Aphra Behn, money and sex are shown to have become alienated, in- and perversely proportionate like the very parallel politics and theater, please bridge this doubly schizoid gap with prime protoplasmic sap. Narcissism all too soon escalates into white out and the white wash away of jaded consumption, exhaustive noncomposting expediency. May it expand organically and mellow like well composted, ripened and chewed food, twisted, squooze, dried and mobilized into tough massaging tickle turds, may you know your limits voluntarily and squeeze your lower diaphragm even at those critical times near the edge of involuntary or chasmic abandon to aid seed retention and fuel vital compos-t-ure. Noyes, the founder of Oneida Community highlighted the mental mechanics of natural crossgenerational foibles, differentiating between amative and procreative love; seedsaving and eugenics, then deciding in his own alpha favor remarkably often. In order for young men to learn the seedsaving business so that their inner fire could retain its vigor, force and focus needed for genecleansing and memory digestion before breeding with young women at a later age, they were advised to go serv(ic)e older women first, making it easier not to blow the fuse. Puritan morals and seedsaving put pressure on the kettle to serve expansive imperialist border-bend-busting purposes (see J D Unwin for elaboration), I wish those economies will be more vertical, feminine and implosive some day...once up on time... finest studs will sweat for these freshest muds, they pick and pluck the mighty stuck up off the ground to prick, prime and crack them into nitty gritty specks, next they soak and sop to fit 'm for fotosintettic time which leaves 'm rooted. Seed savers are not poor comers: Welcome the poor seed savers for they don't come poorly but with heirloom variety. Refugees, artists, craftsmen, soldiers, dropouts, farmers, streetmusicians, politicians and prisoners may all become muse missians on a ball and chain, hard core bang 'n link chore gang sailing in the never flagging purse suit of worm worship. We take any poor comers with gritty dignity to roll away the gravy stones and inspire 'm like any good grove stud should. All hobo's who want to can finally leave their rut and groove till they marble their muddy shack, hovel and hut, spread some fresh dust, see it grow and clean their garbled glut, quit treating life like just an occultable slut. You try to be a man, you try to go and get straight up on what there is to know how and what you can give up to get down and into sweet nothing nobody to care right about now-here. Touch and go, stop and show, stem the glow to feed the flow so credit creating crystal crunch needs never slow, that is the least we will ever need to know prevent the leak, that makes your inner tension weak and small don't just come to make a peak fall into an uninformed de(e)p( )endent peep hole without a justification, preferably prior to your celebration: match the patience of rock to turn it into a living clock which may keep you and your time too. Are we focussed even just barely enough quite yet though? So what are we waiting for, let us get on with the show!! Horny, charged, looking for sparkly twinkle with cleavage and magnetic juicyness? Good! Keep it that way, be on your toes like a woman without scaffolds, braces, simulation or overstimulation, learn to use childlike sublime perversity to leave the malicious variety undone, sex is a group gumption. Mint all mental will full swell, married to a sexual continence with no risk assumption but spill preventive policy till your match comes along (I am learning the hard way myself to be honest). Size up gene ratio and you 'll spell time out as you would the heavens, cause they are key to scale and range. Vert-I-call: Get and set the jolt volt age old fuse gage level at love's longest possible length and strongest strength to use it's scalehopping depth as vertically far as you can. The male should leave his fingers from politics and money and dabble with the vertical variety of the latter all the more forcefully, he needs all the time can get to invent and build toys that turn the more inanimate female mysterious yet measurable mechanisms on through fullfillment of minting conditions and mint conditionings. Further the fun our fires form: Fire forms are many, from fierce to gentle; those of the sun and tectonics have ours being male: (vision and provision or flaring flames fucking with fossil fuels and forests) or female: (fine, fun and fruitful or fearfully fickle and rockily reactionary) in between them as traffic controllers. Mankind has foolhardily substituted external fire and exothermic combustion for intimately inner and gentler forms. Quick fixers flaunt ashes the easy way to replace squandered inner warmth not only bemoaning prone and lost, but losing loaned priming time as well. Fossil fuels for people to idle, rev and rave, to groan, drone, stink and smell are robbing and wasting away our oxygen and prevents our future heritage to come of age: a diamond light concentered and refractometered time of merit, peopled by raw 'n rough, supply jointed, not just subtly wristed, and more thorough than fast, more treeclimbing than cross toting or motocrossing (dirty bi kings and queens), less racing than human, they will rectify these mishaps. Fire of coherent karmic viscosity often gets indecisively pointed hither and tither or burnt up in a blaze, rupturing and exploding the kettle without lasting bond, no watertight and constantly callibrated fire proof drip irrigation "Fuck you" says energy, "be nice" whispers inertia, "let there be focus, lets have a spark, come up with some greenery between bright light and solid dark." Thought may constitute the search for fertilizing, creative cocoonweaving pentvent-valve to tabulate and end torture of knotted feelings (fears and unloving acts like playing with flair and inflammation prone fire banished to and on hold in the subconscious) which in their turn are surrogates that poison the humours in absence of decisive medi(t)ation. When we truely understand the subconscious, we will see through fire manipulation and pollution with equal ease, conversely the Jesus mythology and the cabbalistic connections to the sun will someday teach us the jump from vision to provision and the acknowledgments of "super- or obconsciousness". Personifying the inert as well as inner fires has given rise to many a myth, fact is that we are not all equally pro- and efficient, apt and adept at or inclined to providing and processing fuel; that goes for loving, fruit growing and campfirestarting, as well as for rocketlaunching (see chapter 3L for more fiery stories). Be gentle, do not force your hand; stimulate and fan but contain the inner fire, you need it to transmute and steel your mettle to grow; do not masturbate in a no importa if I aborta mode. Inner fire works are meant to help bark the hard and stark up into a pretty park; you can see everything grow all at once when you use your spark to make the mark of the dark recesses of unutterably feminine substance (preprocreative creatures) cloaked and cornered in the tightest of old, preactionary and ancient habits. Don't let the fires from hot to trot broads or inflammatory impatience melt your mettle before tickling the oxygen from them solidly swing sway loon toon attractive feminininannyhoods, help the shining sun, reduce fresh air from, as much as rock to ashes, don't break these hardest hearts without soaking and shining em up to show off their polish and fertility from, with and for love. Sustained vigilance is a true noncome bust fire, internally contained in contented continence of sextention to free the externally constrained for a second to none coming clean. And now for a quick recap: Fire can be seen in many but three main forms, as are water and the other elements, human fire resides between solar and tectonic kinds; ours falls apart in three forms again: male (flames or provision), female, (fetish or fruit) and both at once: herm(es)aphroditic harmonising, the grey area that p(l)ays so (s)well these days (see also: rehash on fire, ch 3L) NOBODY;Newly Organized Beleaf Orders Diversest Yearningz, bycause nobody cares and nobody is perfect as well.(Wavy Gravy's solar powered concert/campaingn/tour slogan). Sexual education should include showing us how to keep our subjects happy; the worms and other little fuckers that feed their and our descendants, we really should serve them for a humbling yet glorious change. How is that for an end to navel or crutch staring abuse and wearout to begin the way to win vital cycle spin? Come to the mystical mist sprayed and bedabbled fairyland between the armies of bullet and sperm shooters where playful disciplinarians mint fresh dust or raindance on it to send it on its way and once moist make the clouds go bust. Orgasm and disinterested boredom may form a vicious circle. The animistic and magic sensuality of a fresh mud bath is threatened by boom and bust rush hours of op- and depression, consuming vitality and innocence. Intracutaneous current is extra cute, dowse for it. Cleavage stands to attract: Feminine weaves, curves, twists and twirls as evident in ropes, hammocks and strainers must claim the masculine defense budgets before it deserves that name, so shiny, high tensility and truely protective tools and toys ensue to reflect, mime, be consistent and reconciled with the former at a more concentrated and fundamental level, reaching deep into time, not far into space. Life peeps, winks, seeps, stinks or thinks from cleavage and showing some as fresh and appetizing as possible in a strangely superficial, top of the physical existence pyramid kind a way is capturing the most attention ever, yet only 1 in a 1000.000.000 is inviting and creative enough in the all encompassing, circular cycling heartfelt way. It is sorta like a woodchopper studying the grain so he gets max cleavage with least effort, but he may not stop and wonder to understand how a tree came to be in all the ramifications that wholesome knowledge would imply for his outlook on and sustainable demeanor in life. Spiral vortex pathways into the too tightly spun substance turns, grinds, mixes, sweeps, polishes and sprays it into sustaining swirly super-supperstance-versions of cosmo-cleavage. We are not unlike simpler soilorganisms subject to circumstance, we also cannot seem to providently amend but overgraze our budget. Just as recklessly frustrated appetite can brew up some rude potion to infect the affects with commotion, so does a focus on too few varieties of cleavage split our world in over- and underdone. Help the girls come out(to)date arms, metered energy, jails, poisons, and lie pushing de(e)p(p)ending. The ultimate centerfold, blatantly background ignoring, offering only literally white- and thus hogwashed ones to signify private secrets and ice age evoking hard feelings, hard as a diamond. Such are the tactics of Esquire Magazine for example; no dew on greenery she calls her own and without which she should not only feel naked but skinned, instead there are diamonds, a jews jewels, hardest hat and slavish work symbolizing riches. A girls best friend? The choice is simply between dew or diamonds; miles around and years to come or quick fix on the run. This bedding and finery focus at best, must become a wishlist and ultimatum for queendom cleavage community oriented values and an expanded sense of identity and chaos incorporating continuity, making males delve through solid time to cur favor and let their babes live for the moment. In the land of diamond fuses all the little pebbly girls become heir to heavenly body aspect timing, evaluating, choosing and triggering after sucking a tit in the succulent shade and roaming at home, preventing the nowadays rampant stinkbrink chaindrainstrain traffic. Mutual desire recrosses paths, sends and receives dreams, which come to meaning through hygenic sensuality: providing raw and fresh food and its feed. Dreams spun in our larky dark, lacey lays; sperm spiralling within shifting skin needs continence of content to contain and fuel creative as well as procreative fire upon fuse tempering prudent use, slaking will a way from (s)lacking want, building up steam to encompass the world before pouring it into a pretty curvacious fragment. I would like to breach a lance for subjects subjected to a population sexplosability objective, for sweet nothings, strategic cases, juicy snatches, real tinker cans that cannot cantanker caressees which tumble through time sublimbidonally like truely undaunted cleft flaunterers: earths organisms founding and feeding crystaline just lust dust containing crusts. Begin the enforcement of gravity's biomassive levitation; it's the law. Stay alert to see to the where, why, with which, who with and what all for feminine principles no less than princesses bed down. Rejoice in the voice of your choice, can you light my way if I fuel your lamp? Modern self perpetual compound interest underlies the same threat as inbreeding: initial strength and eventual retarding convulsions. Linkling's squirmy concept: If such could be your slot, wouldn't you just save the lot of your king's men right royally, to help the groves grow up from the light, well fed with the turned on tides of a life-unleashing fight with the uppermost tight, their bottom end beginnings are humblingly rough and tough wringings ("Are the marines helping yet"? John D Hamaker) To riddle, flake, peel and slough, moisten to slake, shine and grow the dry, crusty and crumblable rocks. Only then can the lustily rousaled sly lover proceed in good conscience to crown creation with his wriggle giggle bounce to ounce spring off partner as follows: a brief rush, then a long relaxed over and out right after, sends the race on course to soon meet the humptily dumptily tumbling Queens egg and try complete the bumptily rumptily trigger figger Quest, at that point with any frenzied sexspeedy end, cause life is short for tiny lives but the transformer primed and new beginnings immanent. So they stroke the flow like comradely candid dates, yet the specieman of her choice gets to know more than the others can tell from the broken shell in the spasmic swell. I foot the bill for stopping the spill only just until mentioned conditions fullfill. Anything done with the intent to mobilize, evolve and upscale, i.o.w. help photosynthesis to add spin, store memory and DNA braids to the cycling of life is eventually more, and more lastingly gratifying than the shortcutting, parasitic, predatory versions of spectacularity which take the proverbial wind out of sails. We may feed the brain or feed the womb, but there is more life in the balance; so fuck with the brain to duel with the tomb and fuel the womb and vica versa, don't forget to come into the gloom of the tomb with the tools that make some more room for rain and shine in season. May our familytrees grow to cover us, then light will fill up these branchbanks with full bloom. Being in love leaves blind spots from reciprocal, searching light focus that complements all around darkness and obscurity. Bein' lovin' has all the angles covered nonexclusively in a cushioning radiance when given time. "You won't get my head in heat until you heed a deeper need, it requires a more difficult deed than merely spilling seed, I must remain cool under the beat you need and before walking it have to see to some feed", said a no longer rash man while preventing a scrape with a prerush woman once up on speeding time along. !!!!! Genesis: Is it a story about evolution, seasonability, edible evil, how living shade becomes a cover for shame and how the snake can shake the law? Graves calls it a misinterpretation of ancient icons, seasonal waxing and waning, dramatized and personified in rivals, the sacrificially killing knife came to be interpreted as adams rib when blood sacrifices became taboo. Sitchin or religious people say it was alien intervention or divine creation respectively. It may 'just' have been the daoist-tantric sexual mysteries related to all other glands, who knows? Why would not man accept fruit of the wombman? Maerth's interpretation: the tree of life is woman and the other tree is man, eating fruit of the knowledge, segregation or duality tree is cannibalizing male brain, knowledge hard to wallow or is it? Tenen puts the emphasis on its encoded natural law, likening trees and fruit to magnetic envelopes, torus doughnuts, spinning and spiralling symmetries. According to Mckenna, Wasson and others the neolithic revolution was the ripening of reasoning and the consolidation of egostrategies after the supression of the expanded selfconsciousness which was a psychedelics consumption side effect. Lyons maintains that that juncture of time saw the birth of the subconscious, a place to banish and attempt to stop fears from interfering with our approach to and rapport with fire. The true rejuvenant will lovingly crack pow(d)er pack(age)s which rise vertically on into the sun's soft suasion the more you get down on into the hard of their dank deep dower darkness with ride offering water that needs and feeds a flavor. Stop fearing blue balls, prevent them, just choose to avoid them. Monomaniac men undermine, -stimulate, misunderstand and disrespect women, they in turn overmine, -estimate, -whelm, -rule men (in politics please, not in bed, though the first and final choice be theirs). Slipping her on or him in is (besides immediate bonds) best aimed at careful pineal gland activation and perfectionist preparation for progeny. Orgasm is the small death that conceives small life, it produces exuberance and/or exhaustion, evokes past, present and future feelings at once. When not taken to extremes but to help go far, this crutch spasm slime is a crucial station along the glandladder (perhaps puzzled out nor planned, just muddled through to and stumbled upon. Some of the funniest in its kind is called: Unconscious comics (the Santa Cruz Comic News) it features all kinds of organisms within others personified) to charge the clocks of sublime bio- and dreamtime. Confashion (see ch 3 for more): So far some of the where with what all I have hauled into my head; poisonous amalgam causing timidity and inhibition countered and poised by mercurial mindfulness for flow better go getter filamental growing tips. I was just too easily giving my drive away instead of a way to, for and with my drive, or maybe I just picked up girls who were a bit too young, eager and juicy for me to keep my cool. I often came to take an unjustifiably lifeleaking peak at death. I grew up to become a muted mime, immersed and emerging from a land of bovine mammary gland manipulation. I came (and came) to look away from and yet indulge the soothing submost of subversion and though I traded eye- for oversight, now fanciful foresight and outlook might yet provide a benevolent gene ration. I am an in-flam-ma-boyant-ory, rash, and impatiently barging bodger and want to crash into them extended extre-n-mitys to come, crack and ash them thoroughly well. Yes I will lay into 'm barely bearing resistances that hold life down, throwing and pulling my weights to and fro 'm a round, invest my impulsive jitters into 'm, strap 'm in woman age ability gear. Only then can I enjoin my groin to meet a constellation or so in childlike simplicity and uninhibited respiration where the only time is present and of absorbing essence. I don't walk out on people after I run into them before I remember some of their density back up for bounce to the ounce, be it with wink, word, gesture or grip. My at core open ended poles make me spread myself too thin until me works out some fuse thickening squeasy wet sweating routine to keep the inner charge from draining so it helps strain the painfully exterior stumbling blocks into paragons of nurturance. I been too easy come and go and what I mean to grow has to sprout in the dark like the related raw food issue, which took a seven year dormancy lag time. But the enigmatic snifsnuf fixation on prodable flesh to bury secret treasure in was fully ored and exploited during the infamous life (Sade) oozing with slipsliding that started on the siblink self same date 218 years earlier. Now the juvenile time of indulging, celebrating and squandering must make room for cultivating and preserving our inner fire, between that of the sun and tectonics we have our crust to mine, preconstitute and grow our own with. De Sade was an animate flower sampler and trampler, Rotsstof will be an inanimate flour stampler and ampler, there will surely be some overlaps, nothing better than screwing a freshly fashioned mud golem on a mudbank in the river, any sizes and consistencies you like or just an amorph bomb of a slippered rock babe. During the 14 years of travelling made possible by the financial support that followed the mental and physical neglect of the first 14 I had a sort of a cheeky perspectactorivulvacious air of passe partout about me, Keyserling saw that I was abusing and perfecting adaptability, the state of being promising to the bitter end, flaming swords notwithstanding, but my lazy mind was off to a slow start, did not at first aspire to make a difference, on the contrary, I avoided people and commitments, occasionally slipping into Casanovahood and Don Juanisms with a keen eye for the next nearest lonely girl in town, who was never too low for me to stoop and pick her spirits up a while until my fuse blew and charge drained as a cue for the return of the momentarily forgotten urge to let space as well as time slip by; a relaxed and casual get a way. Except for naively getting myself raped by drunken Lybian sailors in the middle of the desert after one half of the crew beat up the equally drunk other half for the rights to my blond and naive virgin ass (the footfetishist that seduced me at 16 tickled the hell out of me, but not there, doesn't count), I went after my own heterosexual conquests without violence, but with plenty a catch up sprint, eyewink, guile, ruse and wile. A single and brief homosexual relationship apart from returns for transport and lodging favors started as much out of curiosity, ever my biggest drive as due to momentary lack of alternatives and/or ability to deal with them. The first girl I had been well and truely in love with for ages (years) but hardly dared approach in the timid and inhibited state I had manouvered myself into concerning affairs of the heart, got married about the same time, a quarter the world's width away, ironically enough, almost literally back home; a snapshot next to her tall and stooping husband on the metal bridge my dad commisioned after acquiring the island adjoining his property was part of her wedding ceremony. Her folks are living next to mine now. I was unaware of all this during my own crisis after the first 7 days in a jail ever, on the charge of seeking employment and even being denied the validity of my tourist visa, just bycause the officer in question didn't like long hair or anybody visiting the neighbour he had a violent feud with, while other farmers succesfully bribed immigration officers to stay away from their illegal worker filled fields and orchards. I tried to fall in love for keeps to remedy my all of the sudden stress-, strain-, stain- and painfullplay and stray routine on the double and spot: Seattle, 'green' city, hitec, highly gay (most of the policeforce, is that better than the fanatic or fat corrupt types so prevalent in the States?). Me and my Linda were together 5 months, still a standing record for me, and I looked for that territory I would not hesitate to finance with my dad's help, but alas my demands were not (ever) modest enough to settle (for) any place though we saw some choice morsels. Wasn't one of my earliest wishes to snake sneak some whirling caresses around all opposition and win them over with my smooth torquey squeezes? A hint of my hopes for provisioning mud whirling basins, a glint of snake tribe and scribe memories? Oedipushy pal: Orgasm may also vent and discharge life in disgust, killing energy directed at the father lurking in your little penis and you may make it bleed any time you like and scold it for being up to no long run good, lecherous or disappointing, thus making it a vicious short circuit of hopelessness which clashes and jousts, flashes and ousts. Such a fixation feels sillyer as you go along to find out that contrast is a good word to describe the dynamic of generations and becoming specially pronounced when your papa is helping to pioneer the polarizing mechanisms of a fast globalizing life only to lose all sight and sense of its position in a larger scheme of things, while you are growing up. (see malicious male issues, ch 3B). I learned early to tap the urge and blunt the edge to avoid friction with my claimant engenderer, who was trying to give direction to what he saw as a rudderless ship or worse, though now I promise everybody no less than myself to affect and infect with mindfulness. Firey sire seed and almost biblically paternal credit; I squandered the first to be rid of the threatening succesion of what I felt and suspected was a bad example lurking therein, on the other hand I did not want to touch the second more than minimally, overrating and ex- to the point of distending a look before leaping strategy. Not in the last place perhaps do I forfeit both my real and symbolic heritage out of some hypocritical sense of decency (don't complain until you are crucified), which dictated to not seperate my dad from his money involuntarily, although he and his volition had had to temporarily suffer a paternally parting wedge from when he was a kid until mature without let up also, no wonder it (and the war of course) coloured his understanding. Now I make do with a trickle on both scores while banking on a pressure buildup for a belated metamorphosis or rite of passage that transcends the almalgamate garble conglomeratings of known history: family and fame, clan and company, people and party, god and money, resulting in exemplarily differing effects, specially vertical ones. I hope it's not too little too late. Made up mind to make up: Driving space into some chunks of choked and bound uptight time brings room into the gloom, sung a groove into the grave, so it can rain and shine into the stuck I struck, soon thereafter to become some tensile pluck which grows from such marblous muck. Yes my cauldron cloutercombi grinds like a glacier (see ch. 4) and the longer this remained wishful thinking, the more I saw bloodlines clog, flesh soften and flab, soil harden and air used faster than it's being mined and made afresh, it takes uhmpfh for sweet nothings to rise and ripen anew under our sun, which, by way of oxide reduction, furnishes foliation ever so faith fully. What kinds a winds be blowin' over here, what kinds a rocks be stowin under there? How do I rig the sails on my gap bridging and by no means cliffhangin' kite to prove and power my crush on crocky grails? I'm set to strike and strum those dry tight cords with all my might to break 'm loose like their wet when unfrozen kin, then I snug 'm to make a way and stay for fresh civilization nourishing silt, helping high organic culture take flight. I want to sleep around to wake some softened square to curve the cubed and lay the angles so they can smoothly bring to bear. ..I don 't like being stuck in any old time sake love, but I choose to be just loving. T aint tits that count, tis arms, I am a patriotic gemini; I slow my meatconsumption and spermsquirting, iow: bodycount down to try ripen my mind, hatch another eye and send its visionary fire dancing through mental time as much as I help the sun inspire and releave its reducible residue, store house and reservoir for bio-physical forms and stretches of it. If by now you wonder where I am coming from, I will tell you:
between my mothers legs. Go ahead abuse me if you must, just do it somewhere else. I don't want to lead my life into a condominium, I want someone to come with me who lets me see to her growth of our life. Forward to specify, divert, respect and discern flux to harmonize with. Powers: "chance is necessity by another name thrown over the complexity barrier. Why does chance make us? To know love, serve it in this life and go with it into the next where it resumes its maiden name". Polystratafidelity: Gilder's "Naked nomads", "Men and Marriage " and "Sexual suicide"raise spectres of wrecked and stunted harlequins, he is a lobsided but very intelligent extremist himself but who isn't and I enjoy his fibre optic rev for freedom logistics tremendously cause I can visualize the complementing formation decompaction and steadily incremental biolife timespanners (see the inthrow and other bits on info elsewhere). Blue strictures evolvalving vs vulvacious red light leaching of love (see Dan Winter on blue fire): Orgasm or seedsaving, expedient rupture or enduring rapture. Jetplanes, theatre and church seats, motocross starting gates, throttles and penis primed sperm, arms and mobs lined up are just a few ways agility stakes its lateral space claims, but what about vertical ones in time? Industry calls for and orphaned dust reminds us how many generations fed on white watery waves, were raised, drilled and sent to fight equally yet somehow other braves. Orgasm relinquishes potential in favor of progeny or it blows a leak to escape tension during puberty, prime lure for the world's largest addiction in free countries, less or at least covertly so for out of touch high tension traditions of expansive desertifying. Stimulation as an end in itself, for its own sake contrary to a means for an end, is just as derationated and hype hallucinogeneric as is uncritical art: simulation of trailblazing cross references. Aids in the west is mainly orgasm addiction till the battery is dead, aids in the south is mostly caused by hunger and malnutrition (see P Duisberg on the fashion of renaming and subsuming old diseases under the new grantpregnant appelation of a fresh vital scorch: AIDS) Dowse for a vein, dig for a strain of pure priceless coinables, help it divide and be fruitful to attract some precious groinables. Vital vibrancy; is it fertile or forceful; sexy, slippery, luscious, ripe and nutritious or strong, smart and superior fire power, is it to-get-her? Don't blow off steam, spray fresh mud, cute coin; don't come, precome!; it's all to do and done with mirrors and a disarming focus past that most fierce of mindb(l)ending reflexes, failing to harness same preempts the priming and toning of the entire food and love chain from first organized lifeforms on, back up to the sublimated gland ladder resultant rev for life and more efficient solar harvest this next and final section is continued from my /commendablinklist.htm: ....restrained as women do to leave us men run around making fools of ourselves;anticipating the best balls and breasts match is an energizing long term affair and plenty lead time for it comes natural in stable conditions, much to be preferred over the dissipative lassitude after devil may care issue forcings..... but hey I like winter too and not everybody can postpone the pacification of spirit rebelling against all odd and massively unconscious outnumberment (where God lives most intensely like Bartsch says in his 1919 novel called heathenism, or it would be if it were translated which I am not sure about; a good overview of the love versus lechery problem is offered therein by the way) though first shot should be best and better, even bettest when/if man ages and ripens enough to look the world square in the face with the same compassion as it will a prospective partner. Me? my first shot came from too much privacy, too little involvement in mom's garden (not enough responsibility given, at least to my taste; I hate weedfree barren ground) the be subordinate game taught instead and me left with an obliging dog who seemed to know what ailed me before I did. But I hope you all may be spared the inflammations and eruptions from impatience, red meat, greed and you name them. I think the 'bestial' event occured before I even found that soiled porno in regular installments, the sort of truckroute-transit-road-side-mulch spread around the incredibly few little clumps of trees left in the heart of bio-industrious but as such an unwisely tone setting land. One of these ((in)famous off and on rampages for disease harbingering worlds of hurry. No women allowed aboard this ship, we are man-hunters) runs right by where I grew up (1.5 km away). Russell's cosmogony idealizes the noble gases and calls 'em hermaphroditic somewhere. Judging from the latter sexual orientation's rising popularity we'll soon be rid of population problems but extremer polarities make for bigger bangs. A last word to leave you with: "L' amplesso sessuale e la festa del povero", translate this and you have a title by Jane Schneider about (European) sexual moral.
(stat installed) end of october 98 firstname.lastname@example.org
Is this the only disfunctionalcounter(ring) culture left?
Half of this site was created/gestating during the 80ties (links thereto are in the table of contents for instance) and the rest since then (latest files at tops of all content files). Last corrections/updates and add ontos: late july 99; last major corrections to this file: 1997; last additions: 98; last minor corrections: july 99; aim responses at: email@example.com
Switch to soundbite sampled files of the newer works at this site from Blabsabs_Index.htm
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